Tuesday, March 15, 2011

a first time for everything

It's 4:21am and I'm still awake :/ I haven't stayed up this late it a long time and I am blaming it on the Diet Dr. Pepper that I drank at about midnight. I started this blog for lots of reasons.  I like to talk/type and sometimes I have so much to say but no one to say it to (except God).  I just recently found out that I'm pregnant and we couldn't be more thrilled.  After losing a baby last year and going through the grief and pain of death this is a very sweet blessing!  My God is a faithful, wonderful, powerful God in whom I trust!  I don't always understand the reasons for the journey or see how He will use it for good BUT He always shows me! It's mind blowing to see His plans unfold!  You know those moments where you just know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are doing exactly what God wants you to be doing??? ... it's moments like that give us drive and motivation even in the hardest of times.  I'm in love with this King!  When I think about him my heart sings and my whole being desires more of Him! The commonly used song "Heart of Worship" has been coming up in my day to day life!  It's moving me to a place of pure adoration.  "When the music fades and all is stripped away and I simply come." Real life happens when the music fades and your stripped down to the nitty gritty.  "Longing just to bring something thats of worth that will bless your heart." This line gets me every time! I don't want to bring to God that which costs me nothing.  I want to bring Him my best.  My all! Something that is worthy of being laid before Him.  I don't want to give God what I want to give Him... I want to give Him what HE wants.  So many times we think about what WE want to give God.  Two years ago my husband bought be a gym membership for christmas. A GYM MEMBERSHIP. Like Really?!?! LOL!! He bought me that because thats what HE wanted.  He didn't think about what I wanted as a gift.  SO MANY times we do this with God.  We give Him what WE want to give and never once say "God what will bless your heart" God, what can I give you that pleases you because I desire to please you in every possible way! "I'll bring you more than a song for a song in it's self is not what you have required" <-- SO TRUE!  As a singer and worship leader sometimes you get caught up in "the songs" but He requires MORE. Daily living! "You search much deeper within, through the way things appear. Your looking into my heart"  We can't hide from God.  He knows us to the core and in one instance thats comforting but in another it can be scary!
"I'm coming back to the heart of worship and it's all about You. It's all about you Jesus" WORSHIP IS ALL ABOUT HIM!! Not us! "I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it and it's all about You, It's all about you Jesus"  I love when repentance is in a song!  Confessing that sometimes priorities get screwed up and things become about us instead of about our TOTALLY WORTHY KING!
"King of endless worth, no one could express how much you deserve" It's that the truth! His worth is immeasurable!! He deserves more than all humanity could give.  "Though I'm weak and poor, all I have is yours every single breath" When we look at our selves in the light of God we will always be weak and poor. His strength, power and richness is something our human minds can't even comprehend.  I mean even the streets in heaven are made of gold! THE STREETS!! Think about our streets! It honestly makes me laugh! He is so amazing and so majestic and yet He is mindful of us! He cares for us! His heart is towards us! CRAZY! I LOVE IT!!
I leave on this note, It's ALL about Him.  When we figure that out life is much easier.  You stop looking at things though selfish eyes.  Even in the trials you say "God, how can you use me in this situation? How can I make a difference for your Kingdom?  What would you have me do? " and don't be afraid to obey! It's the key to fulfillment!

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